Click the Comments link under his photo to see the answer.
Don't Light Those Candles, Just Burn Some Crosses
Madonna turned 51 on Sunday. I have always wanted Madonna to set up shop in Las Vegas and do a regular show at Caesars Palace for a couple of years. And I've also wanted her to do an Unplugged episode for MTV. Is that too much to ask?
I Hope He Likes Baseball
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Alyssa Milano put down her Blackberry long enough to get married over the weekend. Before she tweeted "I do" she walked down the aisle to John Lennon's Imagine. Pause here while I roll my eyes.
Reality Check
Now that Chima has walked out of the Big Brother House, I want nothing more than for Natalie to be evicted. Jessie is in for some hell since he will be stuck alone in the Jury House with either Natalie or Lydia for a full week. Maybe this will be a good time to let them know that he'd be more interested in Jeff.
Looks Like She Will Be Top Heavy On A Kneeler
Omarosa from The Apprentice has enrolled in the United Theological Divinity School to become a minister. Another celebrity has found God. I wonder how long before the head minister tells her she's fired.
I Thought Jamie Somers Had The Bionic Hearing
Last night, I saw a commercial for the Lee Majors Bionic Hearing Aid. Yes, that Lee Majors. The Bionic Man is now 70 and selling hearing aids. And I get older by the second.
Reality Check
On the new reality series There Goes The Neighborhood, I was shocked when Apple founder and billionaire Steve Wozniak and his family were booted off the show.
They Say The Neon Lights Are Bright...
A musical has been made based on Green Day's album American Idiot. It debuts in September. Although I like Green Day, I hope the musical fails. If it succeeds, I will not be able to handle it when Broadway is bombarded with shows like Pal Jonas and Phantom Montana.
I'm Talking To You Corey Feldman!
Michael Jackson's rehearsal footage from his never-performed final tour will be made into a full length movie. I hope it is more documentary than concert. The film will be released around Halloween which will make it more difficult to distinguish those trying to dress like Michael from those who happen to be in costume for the holiday.
Always Take Curtain Number Three!
Now that Guiding Light will be going off the air, CBS is replacing it with a new version of Let's Make A Deal hosted by Wayne Brady. Why do I suspect that now in 2009, the costumes will be much sluttier?
How About Shrinky Dinks:The Musical?
This is not a joke. There is a movie in production based on the View Master toy. Note to Hollywood: There is only one Transformers. Accept it.
The Hot Tamale Train May Soon Be De-Railed
As expected, Paula Abdul is being courted by So You Think You Can Dance to be a judge. I want to see a routine with Paula and Mia Michaels as MC Scat Cat dancing to Opposites Attract.
If You Bring a Small Boy, Admission Is Free
The owners of Michael Jackson's former home, The Neverland Ranch, are planning to dismantle it piece by piece and rebuild it in Las Vegas to make it a tourist attraction.
But What About Gokey?
Last week, David Cook was joined onstage at an outdoor concert by both Kris Allen and Adam Lambert who sang back-up vocals while David performed a Fleetwood Mac song. Coincidentally, Lil' Rounds and Anoop Desai were also at the concert, but they were working the concession stand.
Did Someone Check KFC?
Now that Paula Abdul is not returning to American Idol, I have heard reaction from everyone from Simon Cowell to Ryan Seacrest to every contestant who has ever appeared on the show. But not a peep from Randy Jackson. Where is he?
Reality Check
If you are going to be a contestant on a Reality Show you need to memorize the following phrases because you will say each one at least a million times:
1) It's just a game.
2) I did not come here to make friends.
3) I'm here for my family.
Then when you are kicked off the show, you are required by law to say: "This has been the best experience of my life."
I Guess Crashes Could be Exciting Though
One of the regular segments on Jay Leno's new prime time TV show will be celebrities racing cars around a track that was specifically built next to Jay's studio for the segment. I'm guessing for sweeps they will build some extra walls so the audience can watch paint dry.
And you thought the RIDES were scary
Six Flags has announced a loss of $98 million this past quarter. They blame the recession and Swine Flu. Yes, Swine Flu. Is this some kind of commentary on theme park hot dogs?
Up Next: TRL on Comedy Central
Umm, why are reruns of Scrubs airing on MTV? What does the M stand for?
Was Jerry Springer Busy?
Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, appeared on Geraldo at Large to defend the abuse allegations against her husband, Joe. She says he never beat any of her children. Please wait while I roll my eyes. Should those kids really be left with her then?
Reality Check
VH1's Megan Wants a Millionaire debuted this week. And I thank the producers for introducing the nation to the new party game, Dog Jaw. One millionaire scared the crap out of Megan when he pretended to bite her finger like a dog, and she spilled a full glass of wine all over herself. Who needs PBS?
Marlee Matlin is PISSED
Lou Ferrigno, the deaf actor who played The Incredible Hulk on TV in the 70's is supposedly going to be on Dancing With The Stars in the fall. Yawn. They've already had a deaf celebrity. Bring on the blind!
Does Youtube still count?
Just a thought: A year ago, Myspace was all the rage. Six months later it was all about Facebook. Right now people who don't even own a computer talk about Twitter. What will be next?
So, How Much for the Hair Piece?
Nicolas Cage is almost broke and owes close to $6 million in taxes to the IRS. How do these celebrities get into these situations? I have this queasy feeling that Valley Girl 2 will be coming soon to a theater near you.
Where was Jessica Simpson?
One person has died and 40 others have been injured due to the collapse of a stage at a country music festival in Alberta, Canada on Saturday. A storm swept through the outdoor venue minutes before Kevin Costner was to perform with his band. Once again, God shows us He is strictly against both Kevin Costner and country music.
And Flavor Ice too...
Why do they refuse to make a box of ALL cherry popsicles. They insist on making you eat the damn banana ones as well.
It must be the same people who watched JAG
Who in the world watches Monk? I seriously thought it has been off the air for at least three years, and I just saw a commercial promoting this season as its final sason.
Blanket would have preferred Diana Ross
Michael Jackson's 79 year old mother, Katherine, will be getting custody of his children. I think that Michael's 25 year old lovechild, Omer, should have to now care for his three siblings.
Please Don't Go Girl - No Really, Come Back
The New Kids On the Block were consistently playing to less than 50% capacity in big arenas on their US summer tour.
Maybe Celine Dion said, "Back Off"
There are 42 versions of American Idol worldwide. Wouldn't you think at least one of those contestants would have a song and be known in the US by now? Shakira cannot be the best that the world has to offer.
Coming Soon: G-Force Guinea Pigs sing the Hits of High School Musical
Sign of the Apocalypse # 238:
The Number One Album in the country is by Demi Lavato.
Maybe I Should Sell Roses for a Living
On ABC, there have been 13 seasons of The Bachelor and 5 seasons of The Bachelorette. I think it's time to put them all on an island and fight it out Survivor-style.
How many Guinea Pigs does it take to get some respect?
Commercials are touting The Ugly Truth as the Number One comedy in America. Does this mean that the weekend's highest grossing movie, G-Force, is one of the great dramas of our time?
Try the Mac N Cheese with Beef
Over the weekend I signed up for the Noodles & Company birthday club which will give me a free meal on my birthday. However, today I was e-mailed a coupon for a free meal just because I signed up. All you have to do is provide your name and e-mail. Finally, the internet pays off.
Ironically, Viagra makes it difficult to walk
Scientists have discovered that the blue dye used in blue M&Ms and Gatorade helped paralyzed rats regain the ability to walk. Side effect: The rats turned slightly blue in color. So the next time you see a blue rat, congratulate him.
And what about The Bird Flu?
What ever happened to the Conficker computer virus that was supposed to shut down the computer world on April Fool's Day?
And you thought YOU were hungry
Kaleb Bussenschut is a five year old boy in Australia who is allergic to ALL food. The condition is so rare that it has no name. Kaleb can only drink water and one certain type of lemonade. He carries a backpack that is connected to a tube in his stomach that consistently feeds him nutrients. Apparently Kevin Federline (below) has at least three backpacks.
Popo-COW
Oops, I ate it again. The American Dream: Marry a hot pop singer. Impregnate her. Live off her millions. Consume as many burritos as possible.
They're offering $15 million if she promises not to perform again
Reportedly, Paula Abdul is closer to renewing her American Idol contract. She is asking for $20 million, but will probably have to "settle" for $12 million. Can you imagine having this "problem"?
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